Deployment

A lot of people, after my last post, have asked why I want to have the ability to be deployed. "Wouldn't you be happy not being sent overseas?" Well...yes and no. Of course I would be happy not having to experience war. No one in their right mind really wants to take another person's life. And no one wants to be put in a situation where their life can be taken. I feel the same way. However, I have been trained and prepared to support our current military effort for the last five years. Part of me feels that by not having a chance for deployment will completely null and void the training I received. I know that isn't an entirely true statement, it's just how I feel.

Another part of me doesn't want to be one of the only ones that didn't have a chance to make a difference over there. Whether or not we went over for the right reasons means nothing. We are there and many individuals have given their life in an effort to better this world. I would like that chance too. So many of my closest friends are over there right now. It's the least that I can do to thank them.

"Aren't you scared of being deployed?" Hell yeah I scared! If I wasn't a little scared then I wouldn't be human. I have plenty of dreams about being over there and things happening. I just have to trust myself, my training, and the others around me. And I do.

"Aren't you worried about who you will be when you get back?" Of course I am worried that I will not be the same Bear before and after a deployment. And to be honest, I won't be. No one is completely unaffected by those types of circumstances. In talking to be friends that have been and returned, they are all relatively the same, just with a little different outlook on life. And that is all I can hope for.

I know that not everyone agrees with my thoughts on this subject. And you have every right. I just thought I owed it to you to let you know how I felt. I feel extremely blessed that I have many friends and family members that want to keep my out of harms way. And as my mother always told me growing up, "When it's your time to go, it's your time to go." I could be walking across the street and be hit by a car, or I could be patrolling the streets of Iraq. All I can do is have faith in God that he uses me for whatever purpose.

So thank you all for your concerns. I truelly appreciate and love everyone one of you. You have all been some of my biggest supporters and I hope you can continue to stand by me.